The 'Ol Switcheroo!

One thing about me that really irks my friends is that I seem to change my mobile number at least twice a year. About a year ago I switched providers from Maxis to DiGi. Reasons being:

1. Rates and charges were cheaper than Maxis, and as the Missus has a supplementary number, calls and SMS's between us are free WITH NO LIMIT.
2. I opted for the unlimited data plan, which was cheaper at RM66/month, albeit EDGE is the fastest speed available. Which was fine with me, as my 1st-gen iPhone has no 3G anyway (boohoo!).
3. When I signed up for the unlimited data plan, there was a promotion of free 12 month's use of the Airzed wi-fi network, which is the most widely available in KL.

So, all's good then? WRONG. The reception is just so POOR it's laughable. HYSTERICAL even. I have virtually no reception in my room at my in-laws' at Taman Duta, which has led me to MISS so many calls my friends and parents have almost GIVEN UP on trying to get hold of me in the evenings. If I'm in a lift or if I just go one floor down a basement level, there's just NO POINT even checking for reception. "That's expected" I hear you say. Well, that was not the case with my old Maxis number. Worked fine in lifts (well the ones in my office building anyway), and basements weren't too much of a problem unless I went REALLY FAR DOWN.

After having suffered this INCONVENIENCE for about a year, I decided to switch back to Maxis. And the Mobile Number Portability scheme in place in Malaysia now makes the process easier, as we get to keep our DiGi numbers! Only downside is the unlimited data plan under Maxis is RM99/month. But then, it is 3G, and though I can't benefit from it yet, I do expect to do so in a few months, when hopefully I can get my hands on the 3rd generation of the iPhone!

So I made my way to the Maxis service centre in Bangsar and told the guy we had learnt our lessons, have SEEN THE LIGHT and would now hope that Maxis can forgive us and take us back. The whole process was surprisingly easy. Just handed over my IC, gave the guy my home address, current DiGi phone number and which Maxis plans I wish to subscribe to - and voila! Now I just need to wait for an SMS confirming the switch before I can insert my new Maxis sim. The best part - I don't need to call DiGi to inform them of the switch. Everything should be done automatically!

DELL-iberate farce!!

When my mom-in-law asked me to get a new PC for the house a few months back, I straight away went to the Dell website to look for a cheap system. I'm not really a fan of Dell computers, having had TERRIBLE experience with them during my IT Manager days at the office. However, for a small fee they do have a comprehensible warranty package, which covers EVERYTHING for 3 years, including accidental damages.

So, AS EXPECTED, the brand new Dell PC failed to work after ONLY a few months. Switch it on, and NOTHING happens, apart from a louder than usual whirring of the cooler fan. This was the time then to make the extra dosh spent on the warranty pay. Unfortunately, it happened on New Year's Day. Called the number, Answering Machine Man said that they're not available on public holidays. Didn't call them them on Friday as I forgot to bring the PC serial number with me to work, so tried again on Saturday. Guess what? Answering Machine Man says that they're not available on weekends too. So far so bad. Called them again on Monday nevening after work. Voila! This time wasn't Answering Machine Man at the end of the line but Mr Technician Guy (TG from now on). Explained the problem to TG, and he asked me to carry out some diagnostic tests on his behalf.

At first, the tests were simple enough - switch off the PC and on again (DUH!), disconnect everything bar the monitor cable and see again if the problem persists. Still no change. Next test then - set the CPU on its side, OPEN the casing, and remove both sticks of RAM!!! The whole reason I opted for the full warranty was that it would make it easier for my mom-in-law and my wife's zero-technical-expertise siblings to simply call Dell whenever there's a problem with the PC, so that they won't be too dependent on me. HOW ON EARTH would you expect a 50+ year old lady or worse, a 12-year-old child, to open the CPU casing (using a screwdriver which Dell do not ask you to have beforehand) and remove the all-too-fragile RAM sticks? Thing is, I doubt most people even KNOW what a RAM stick is in the first place, let alone remove the safety and (gently) pull it out!! Of course, this was bread-and-butter for me, but I did inform TG of my concern. What if the RAM is removed wrongly, or inserted again the wrong way, and it breaks? "Oh, don't worry, the warranty will cover that", was the answer. Okayyyyy, but what if something worse happens, say the wrong components or wires are pulled out, resulting in the user getting an electric shock!!?!?!??

Why can't the technician just come over once a report has been made, without all this fuss? "Oh, we need to run the tests so that the technician can bring the required items", TH replies matter-of-factly. B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. You know EXACTLY what components I have, down to the individual serial numbers for all the components, so I see no reason why the technician can't just come over with spare parts for ALL the components, do the tests HIMSELF, and replace whatever needs replacing. The call lasted quite some time, including time spent to look for a screwdriver, remove the screws, restarting the PC numerous times, and putting everything back together again. And in the end the problem was not resolved over the phone, AS EXPECTED, and TG put in a request for a technician to come over. But oh, as it was already in the evening after the cut-off time, the technician could only come over IN TWO DAYS!!

Anyway, the PC's okay now. The problem? Needed a new PSU.

Doner KeBABI

One thing I miss most from my student days in the UK is the food. Greasy fish and chips, drenched in vinegar; fresh hot doughnuts oozing with sweet strawberry jam; soft scones with dollops of cornish cream; rhubarb crumble drowning in custard. And last but not least, who can resist a big, fat doner kebab. I always preferred mine big, with ALL the salad and ALL the sauces. My favourite kebab shop in London was one naughtily named Lolita in Paddington. It had the doner kebab TO DIE FOR.

Yeah, we have the so-called local "kebab" chain restaurant - Kyros Kebab. Guys, that's just a TRAVESTY to the fraternity of kebabs! The few times that I gave it a try (mainly due to lack of any other choices) it was always dry, stale and utterly DISGUSTING.

Anyway, everyone knew how UNHEALTHY those kebabs were. I mean, insurance proposal forms should have an additional box to tick - "How many kebabs do you normally eat in a typical week?" - and those who've eaten a big amount should pay THROUGH THEIR TEETH to get covered! Eating more than your fair share of doner kebabs should lead you needing a doner of another type - HEART DONOR! And they always CLAIM that it's supposed to be "lamb". Errmm... WHICH PART of a lamb is it? Surely tastes really different from the normal lamb that I also happily consume.. lamb chops, lamb shank, lamb stew, lamb beriyani etc. I've got to admit that NONE of them even REMOTELY taste like the "lamb" kebab that I love.

So, like the Radiohead classic, I said NO SURPRISES when the results of a survey of kebabs in UK found that they contained "...shocking levels of salt, fat and calories..". But what did SHOCK me was that from 494 samples of kebabs, six were found to contain PORK!! And what's worse, two of the six were claimed to be HALAL!! So there were those who thought they ordered a kebab, but got a keBABI instead! I am truly dissappointed.

And I wonder how many of the other 488 samples which actually were lamb didn't turn out to be halal after all. So, to my brothers and sisters in the UK, please do make sure before you buy your next kebab. I always made sure that the shop was indeed halal, and the men working there were indeed Muslims before I felt comfortable buying.

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa

Ingin saya ketengahkan satu gejala berat yang menular masyarakat kita dewasa ini. Masalah ini adalah berkaitan dengan penterjemahan beberapa istilah Bahasa Inggeris ke Bahasa Melayu. Penterjemahan yang langsung telah dilakukan ke atas istilah-istilah Bahasa Inggeris ini walaupun terdapat istilah-istilah Bahasa Melayu sedia ada yang sudah cukup memberikan maksud yang sama dengan istilah-istilah Bahasa Inggeris tersebut.

Contoh terbaik pada fikiran saya adalah "informasi". Jelas kepada kita semua bahawa "informasi" adalah penterjemahan langsung perkataan Bahasa Inggeris "information". Istilah ini sering digunakan dalam media massa, malah kebanyakan daripada kita tidak berfikir dua kali untuk menggunakan istilah ini dalam percakapan harian. Sebenarnya tidak ada sebab untuk kita menggunakan istilah "informasi" kerana penterjemahan "information" ke dalam Bahasa Melayu adalah "maklumat". Apa salahnya dan apa kurangnya jika perkataan "maklumat" digunakan berbanding dengan "informasi". Sebenarnya banyak lagi istilah lain yang pada fikiran saya tidak perlu digunakan, sebaliknya istilah Bahasa Melayu yang sedia ada sudah cukup sesuai. Senarai contoh istilah-istilah ini adalah seperti berikut:

Informasi - Maklumat
Konsumer - Pengguna
Bajet - Belanjawan
Final - Perlawanan Akhir
Opsyen - Pilihan
Fokus - Tumpuan
Global - Sedunia
Transformasi - Penukaran, Perubahan
Program - Rancangan
Rasis - Perkauman

Saya pernah membangkitkan perkara ini kepada teman-teman. Alasan atau sebab yang diberikan selalunya:

1. Bahasa Melayu sememangnya bukan satu bahasa yang asal, dan kebanyakan istilah Bahasa Melayu berasal dari bahasa-bahasa lain - Indonesia, Inggeris, Portugis, dan sebagainya.

2. Tidak ada sebab perkara ini perlu dibangkitkan kerana jika kita menonton rancangan dari negara jiran kita, penggunaan istilah-istilah Bahasa Inggeris yang telah diterjemahkan secara langsung adalah berleluasa.

Alasan-alasan di atas pada fikiran saya tidak dapat diterima sama sekali, dan seharusnya tidak digunakan untuk menyembunyikan kemalasan masyarakat kita untuk menggunakan istilah-istilah Bahasa Kebangsaan kita ini.

Senarai di atas akan saya perbaharui dari masa ke masa. Saya juga mengalu-alukan apa-apa cadangan atau pandangan pembaca, samada hendak menambah kepada senarai istilah ini, atau pun hendak mempersoalkan istilah-istilah yang sedia ada. Saya mengaku bahawa penguasaan Bahasa Melayu saya sendiri tidaklah begitu sempurna, malahan di peringkat PMR dan SPM pun saya tidak pernah sekali pun mendapat tahap "A" dalam peperiksaan. Oleh itu, saya amat berbesar hati jika pembaca dapat sama-sama memberikan pandangan terhadap masalah yang berat sebegini.

My very first treasure hunt!

I've always wanted to join a treasure hunt. And no, I'm not talking about real treasure here, the kind associated with pirates and Indiana Jones. But rather, the more urban type of hunt where teams drive around "hunting" for answers to riddles in a set amount of time. It's become a popular pastime here in KL, where even "professional" teams of hunters exist. I've had experience with a "walk-hunt", and also entered the The Sun hunt a few times (even managing to win myself RM100!), but when the opportunity arose, I made the leap to enter my first ever PROPER treasure hunt.

So there we were - me, the missus and another couple - at the flag-off point somewhere in the USJ area at SEVEN in the morning. The hunt's organised by Lexis Nexis and the KL Bar and unfortunately for us, there wasn't any separate Masters category - so it was a baptism of fire for us as we had to compete with the "professionals".

For those of you who haven't joined these hunts before, the questions are mostly "cryptic". The hard part really is to decipher the questions. Once you have (sort of) figured out what the question wants, it's then just a matter of looking out for the answer amongst the multitude of shop signs along the specified route. As an example, the first question that was asked was as follows:

Some trial with its logics revolutionized.

Some of you may be thinking "huh?????". Well this a typical cryptic clue, and you need to know what words to look out for to solve it. There are actually 2 parts for the answer here:

1. "Some" is a partial indicator, which means that a portion of the next word forms the answer. The next word is "trial", so the answer could contain "TR" or "IAL" or even "AL".
2. "Revolutionized" in the question is an anagram indicator, which says that the answer is made up of the jumbled up letters of other words in the question. In this case, "its logics" is the anagram.

Once you've deciphered the question, it's then up to everyone to stare at all the shop signs looking for a name or phrase that fits the question. Lo and behold, the answer was:

IAL LOGISTICS (MALAYSIA) SDN BHD

See how the answer fits the question? "IAL" is part of "trial", and "LOGISTICS" is an anagram of "its logics".

So actually, a LOT of thinking has to be done on the day. Worse still if you have NO IDEA on what the question means, and you end up trying to scrutinize EVERY single shop sign to see if it fits the question in some way!

So how did we do? Well, we got 30 answers out of 40 correct, but didn't get any of the four required "treasures" - more on the treasures in a future post. Including some bonus points, we had a grand total of 95 points. There were prizes for the top 30 out of a total 60+ teams. And guess what? Even the team that finished in 30th place got more points than us!! BOTTOM HALF!! All that effort for nothing!

Well, this is just a start, and there are a few more hunts on the horizon. For the next ones, hoping to enter a Mercer team with the name "The MERCERnaries". Hopefully some luck from our 5-year winning streak in the annual Actuarial Society of Malaysia quiz would rub off!

PC Fair

Went to the PC Fair today, first time in a couple of years in fact. Needed to get me some proper speakers for the iMac, as everyone knows that the built-in ones just dont cut it. So after Friday prayers at the KLCC mosque, straight I went to the Convention Centre, thinking going then would be the best time with the less crowd, and should be a half hour, MAX one hour trip. Oh, how WRONG was I.

• Punters were treated like MICE, we could only go in through the main entrance and were guided through all the exhibition halls using a combination of barriers and OVERZEALOUS "jaga"s.

• To make things worse, nowadays the PC Fair takes up a whole TWO floors from one end of the convention centre to another.

• There were just too MANY promoters, at least on this first day, seemed that there were more promoters than visitors. Saying that, I have NO PROBLEMS AT ALL with the skimpily dressed doll-faced promoters (well most of them anyway) who are happy to pose for any old FART with a massive dSLR.

• Speaking of which, I just DESPISE all these promoters who stick leaflets into your face asking if you have broadband. In the past, it only used to be Streamyx, but now we have to face wave after wave of ATTACKS from Maxis Broadband, Celcom Broadband, etc etc etc. And then there are the mobile phone companies promoting their postpaid plans and banks asking us to SELL OUR SOULS by signing for a credit card for a stupid free bag/cap/umbrella. They should sell signs for people to put round their necks saying "I HAVE STREAMYX!!!", or "I'VE GOT A MOBILE PHONE NUMBER ALREADY, HOW MANY FREAKIN' NUMBERS DOES ONE NEED?!?!?!". Maybe that would stop getting bugged by these PESTS.
  

So did I get the speakers then? Yup, bagged myself a set of Edifiers. As you can see, the satellite speakers are not too big and go well with my iMac, yet give a more than decent performance. The subwoofer - not seen in the photo as it's on the floor - though not massive, still manages to RUMBLE MY INSIDES so much that makes me want to use the toilet! Not bad for a set that costs less than RM120, eh?

Bangkok Dangerous

Been some time since my last post. Have just been plain busy lately - work, weddings, photo edits, creation of a new homepage (more on that later), and the odd holiday to Bangkok thrown in. Bangkok was supposed to be a balanced trip of sightseeing and shopping, but it somehow turned into a shopping and cinema trip instead. Go figure. Anyway, didn't get too many keepers from the 100 or so snaps I took in Bangkok, but then there are other things that I learnt from the trip:

• Compared to their Malaysian counterparts, Thai AirAsia flying-waitresses are more decent, refined and professional (read: less slutty).

• I may be an L in K.L., and can even get away as an M in London, but I'm MOST definitely an XL in Bangkok - witness the nice t-shirts that I haggled for at Chatuchak market only to find out upon returning to the hotel that they were so small that our previous PM looked way better in the skintight cycling jersey during the Tour de Langkawi some years back!

• Bangkok really is Toyota city. If you are contemplating dropping RM110K on a new Altis, do yourself a favour and visit Bangkok - it's just teeming with bright PINK full-bodykit Altis' turned into taxis!

Vegetarian KFC?!?!??!?

Terrorists? Bah!!!! We should be afraid - nay, we should be VERY AFRAID - of VEGETARIANS!! According to kypost.com, it seems that KFC Canada has given into pressure by offering VEGETARIAN CHICKEN!! And guess what this "chicken" is called - UNCHICKEN!! I really do not get these VOLUNTARY vegetarians (I'm cool with those who are vegetarian for religious/medical reasons). I mean, it's BLOODY OBVIOUS - if you don't like chicken, then DON'T GO TO KENTUCKY FREAKIN' FRIED CHICKEN in the first place!!! I think it's fair that a restaurant called Kentucky Fried CHICKEN only sold CHICKEN. I mean, I wouldn't pop into the local Baskin' Robbins and expect to them to serve cendol, would I? Or on a similar note, I wouldn't go to TGIF expecting them to serve a hot glass of TEH TARIK to go with my MAGGI GORENG???

If you don't want meat, then TOO BAD. After all, there's always the VEGGIE BURGER for your kind. Or have a double helping of the COLESLAW. All us NORMAL PEOPLE (i.e. us meat-eaters) should unite and be weary of this new threat that we face. If ignored, I wouldn't be surprised if one day killing an animal for its meat would THROW YOU IN JAIL and you end up having to play "pick-the-soapbar" with your fellow inmates in the shower!

MEAT-EATERS RULE!!!

Steamed over steamboat

The Missus took me out for dinner tonight at this steamboat place at Ikano. Forgot the name of the restaurant, but it's the one at the basement level, with tables that go almost right into the P1 parking. If you're lucky, you can get a parking spot literally next to your table. Like going to your favourite Mamak, just that it's underground and the air is much more polluted with car exhaust fumes. The food itself was okay, I guess. We ordered the 2-person combo which had a bit of everything, with tomyam soup which was spicy, even for my high pedas threshold.

What I really want to rant about is the whole concept of "steamboat". I mean, when I eat OUT at a RESTAURANT, I expect the food to be COOKED. Instead I'm given a plate of raw fish, chicken and vegetables and am expected to cook it myself. And some places add insult to injury by charging a bomb for this "privilege". I mean, if I'm supposed to boil the food myself, I might as well get the raw stuff at my local Tesco, bring the food home, set up a rice cooker in my living room, fill it with water and pop in a few tomyam cubes, and eat while watching the latest downloaded episode of Family Guy!

I personally think that of all the possible options to open a restaurant, opening a steamboat restaurant would hands down be the most profitable. I mean, you don't need to hire skilled cooks to cook, as there's NO COOKING INVOLVED. You just need to get your supplies in, and chop them up into bite-size pieces, and serve them to your gullible patrons together with a boiling pot of cubestock water.